2008

Jul

26

2008

train the world

I am wanting to escape from me
To arrive from this burdened space
See clean clear calm
But the world is not
Dank dark dirty
Purity is a minority,
Imperfect I try
Writing an armored high
I engage imbibe and hide
From the blade of what's around
This corner
Fear fate floundeR
Oh this pain licks drips
And seeps across my page
Worn tired text I have become
Angsty teenager rebellion
Was cute in its first year,
Well practiced now inaccurate
Doesn't quite capture
The voice of my havoc
Numb I've become an engine
That won't shut off
Sickened by my fumes my
Allies flee, toxic I am
Flee me
Be me
See me not
You will regret your attempt
Better off leaving quickly with less
Attachment and investment
Nothing keeping you here
Least is me in my current condition of an
Anchor around your neck weighing
Upon your dazzle dazzle social life
You write wickedly
Whining of what it would be like
And ask demand order I obey the command to
Be do all aligned
Medicine you won't swallow
I'm tired of taking drs orders
That aren't followed by givers' own internal
Logic structure you are anti
Everything and fraud
Eat lies
You choke
Just get sick and let it all come up baby
You've swallowed your bullshit for too long
And now you suffer the consequences
Of your own cosmic dissonances
The dance you've trained
The world

Jul

26

2008

massdam

it's easier to write about (y)ou
An external something, one
That is seperate from the superior
I, alien to my grandeur and
Elevated developmental capacities
Struck sewn and startled
I sink beneath the crushing despair of
Turning my anger inward and off
The post of my whip
Youve been ideal in this way
A thankless position of uncomfortable
Accomodation, non-reciprocated anti union
All of the above is disregarded and
You become a burning flame I want to fan
Numb undone and hurried
I flee from generosity.
Wake walk
Jus fucking run away.
Now.
Leave while you have minimal damage.

Jul

26

2008

shrew

revisiting my precious tone
Tomb and torture room
I'm routinely incorrect
Still paralyzed in my head
Stuck suffocating and sickened to death
By my own hand
I'm ready to exit
This ship body self
Yet can't quite commit
Another area I fail
Completion if inaccurate
Puppet I plague You (me/we).

Reborn I try
Again
I reach for help
And I try cry whine
Want a path out
Though I say nothing I
Need you more than I let on
Thanks
For nothing you cunt cold crass
Shrew
I feel nothing
For you
This paradox of love and hate,
It's so much easier to masterbate
Than manage myself in this
Relation.ship with you

Feb

02

2008

my underneath

sunk,
i am lonely.
drowning and treading
all on my own,
i cannot do this without you
and yet
i'm feeling
it's not with you too
disheartened i cling to hold
on
to something
broken, beaten, i explode
my acid leaking on you
vicious it starts to tear
away your (my) skin

we.are.breaking.

i tend to do this
you've lasted longer than i could
have possibly imagined
an expiration date i foresaw
very wrongly
i cringe at the way i've managed
my.self in relationship toward you

i am wrong
and lonely....

(k)no(w) where to(you) begin
i am bleeding
inside i am cold
and alone
bruising i am strong
and building muscle
i am pretending
to be awake
and numbing....to get through this.

and i am dramatic
i am bold
vicious, hatefully cold

we will mend and absolve our trials
denials work themselves out through the
trying tour of this jaded
album

covers emerge with disparity
and i will sing these tracks to death
(as if I haven't already you will say
in your oh-so-lovingly great way)

I bow before you...
my underneath.....

Jan

11

2008

pancake batter

few miss hits
and i start to crumble
not working no more
for me to keep on fumbl.ing
sinking
into an accomdating ship, which repulses me toward rectifying all possible solutions......


let it all out you may right say but what lands lands and nothing will be used against all. not mean it.


Words have the capacity to move mountains build bridges.....choose your words carefully, less confusion from ineducated and bold start talking.