2005

Dec

23

2005

Silence Succumbs

A dialogue, across time
and space
with intervals in between,
harmonic symphonies
mutated angelic voices
speak
: a call to arms
energizes and rattles
the base
as silence succumbs....

Sep

29

2005

Mother May I

disaster
is what i plan to be
bring, serve on a platter
it was you mother
who suggested
this conjured little game
in the whispers
between your manipulative
pleas
and here comes
an updated version
of what you'll never have
expected from me
her, us


Derive a formula
called "she loves me"
and an opposing theory
occurs, "she loves me not"

It was a tragedy for a year
or more,
and then I became numbed
to the pain and the occurance
of gain that emerged
whilst I tried to avoid
what was obviously so

Aug

21

2005

Getting There

very simple words
are spread
across my lips,
to the undead

but you, tonight,
can't see or read
it's an apostrophe
that binds us here

you the possessive
and i kept near

Combined a lake
the world the stone,
you the water,
and i the ripples

.tearing through time.

simplicity has taken
tortured turns
throughout her ventures
-glamour is an overrated
exaggeration of what's not
to be mistaken for
self-loathing, incidentally
maybe it.....
There are no such things
in life that cannot be remedied
by a quick blow
below the belt
.fuck.it.or.kill.it.or.have.it.both.ways.

Irony is the color of the day,
Melody of the month,
and drama of the year,
it's been pleasant,
actually.

And we can't say
it's always been that way,
but it takes forgetting more
than just a war
and thousands dead
to get there.

Jun

22

2005

Restless

division
an equitable
and rehabilitating
quality
that reminds those necessary
part(s)(icles)
of where they belong

i don't know sometimes

why i carry on

is like trying
to breathe
when unable
i answer my calls
silently suffering
we sit sadly
awakening to the deafness
that becomes
the numbing sense
that division

causes
.break.through.
the inequitable
oblivion-state
of divi.sion.

Jun

20

2005

A Marriage, of Sorts

simple
little plentitudes
of vastly overstated
proportions
working to(ward) our
dis.advantage

depends on the
perspective

i suppose
i could derive
the more natural
selection
and make ends
meet

i suppose
anything is possible
in an impossible world
of deafening
deadening
silencing
dreams
:America the land of
opportunity
strikes
you're out
you're in
not here

Wanted:
all we want
Security:
issue (of the year)
Patience:
majority lacking
Time:
minority needs

An important reminder
comes across my desk
and for a fleeting moment
i forget
the maddeningness of
my
discomfort

returns
quietly, subtly,
into the unconscious
as sinister
as the cultural reinforcements
surrounding
what provocates my
angst....

Jun

18

2005

E-merge

.plentitude
or voracity
carnivore
and elasticity

rake me again
over your coals
and start this shakedown

'cause i'm ready to
roll with your
punches and i'll get in
step
aside/beside/under/and over
I'll move to your rhythm
and step with your
beat(s) against all
that tells me k.not to

touch this fire that you've
become,
says more of me than
of u
without the emergent
class

Jun

18

2005

For U

Drowning in unflattering
light
sparks beneath me
you'll quench my
thirst
taste
hunger/desire/denial

and I'll nail
it once again

you say you're on fire
but you've yet to feel my burn
and I'm about to send out the bill
for the incurred debt

you're twisted
distant
and self-absorbed

tendencies don't often serve
us as a partnership
anchoring this ship

southward
she sails
seeking
safety
somber
sober
togetherness
in a cohabitation
called
chronic
cathartic

love:

anti-isolation served with a brevity
and serendipity that occurs almost
ironically
from the jaded perspective
of a jilted
past


somehow
i end up
feeling
less than
devoured
but all together
full and
complete
encompasses the mood/feeling/state
for the entirety
of this partial
journey
called
togetherness

the mist rolls
across the waters
foreshadowing
mystery
spice and
the spontaneity

that i crave
makes u indispensable
(at the moment of)
coarse
describes
your edges

full and about to be
refined describes
your
attitude
makes criticism
a tense disaster
of direction

fire
burns on these shores,
on deck,
and on hand

but it serves as an
alternate dimension
to this paradoxical
story
about what could possibly
happen
(or not)
to this majestic
oak ship that has
emerged victorious
in the battle
for
heat
and
passion

:forget me not
regret me less
and fill full with its entirety
for you
lasted

Jun

17

2005

Omit

Decay
is such a beautful word

emboldened by its eerie personification
of the one to remain unspeakable

skirts selfishly around what exists
and masks your
far
from
removed
core

(of denial, see paternal relationships)

and you'll start to see
this wall street like trend
of varying lows, and unsuprising highs

but what no one took into account
was/is the possibility
for a lack of appropriated funds
to repay the debts
of the family

incurred by the costs
of silence, denial, and

.decay. (see the omit's legacy)

Jun

17

2005

Anti-Reachable

and the reoccuring thought emerges
quick to pain-ful
slow to regurgitation

and i wonder for a moment
if i can't escape
the calling of helpless
can't anticipate my next

move, i do slowly
creep crawl forward
testing the waters
of sinister and foul

i break through
the ice (is cold, wet, and undeserving)
and bring forth an alternate dimension
visions occur as the
emergent paradigm
of the next evolutional cycle that has become the involution of
my existence

walking down the street
lighting so dim
i'm guided by the faint glow
of my cigarette
turned flashlight

tens years ago i would
have snarled at myself in the mirror had i seen what i now do, and know(n)
what i didn't

comprehend
this
is enough
to drive
drivel
into
far
depths of

soul scratching back breaking
utterly haunting
pain

thousands will mourn
and no one will know
that the next great cycle
has once again resuscitated
and removed itself
from the realm
of reachable

Mar

16

2005

Forbaden

An internal experience
of something so serious
that it's almost quietly
oh so denied

scars run across my
body like train tracks
over these lands
and I'm bruised
and beaten, but not out
for the count

i can't imagine
that I'll be back again
but i couldn't
forsee
this disaster
of reality.

silence
explodes
obliterates
and transforms
the child that once
was me

Mar

02

2005

Too old

Rust me
dust me
just don't trust me

Enough was enough
so long ago
and by ridden I mean gone
you aren't in the least
and while I was in the lead
I've started to bleed
and have long since left a
trail
of a lot more than tears
it's time to stop lying
and time to stop here

dead in your tracks
you've laid more than
just me
but it's been a while
since you've paid your
dues to the one who you owe
and silence is golden
except in rare circumstances
where it's appropriate
to fucking say something

Mar

02

2005

Out

Tip me
dip me
Just fucking sip me
And by sip I mean
pretend you care

Rewind a couple back
and you'll realize it's been
far too long
and there's no gaining
wisdom from this drought
as you call it

I'm thinking sinister
I'm thinking ill
will makes
breaks
takes a little
more than I'm willing
to give

And unless you're willing
to shoulder
this burden
i think
i'm going to
give in
give out
and break down
before i'll make it
onward
upward
i'm moving out

Jan

10

2005

What Wasn't

He was too small
to believe
and she was too big
to lessen the grip
that he started to sip,
slip, fall into denial
and she craved more attention
than he was ready to deliver
a collision was bound,
derailed, devoid
of meaning until they could
manage what wasn't.

Jan

10

2005

Jump Ship

Fury sits at the pit of her stomach
she cannot breathe
and ridicule
flows and ebbs through her veins
he was everything
and it isn't fair

Dillema is their second course
served with plenty of bitter
and iron-y
Steamed cautiously (like their sex)
they developed together
fused
in ways that cannot be written
and only observed
a rightful denial
that passes the most complicated
of inspections (tro)

If seeing is believing
and gravity exists
then she's so far gone
it's time to jump
this ship.......