2003

Dec

15

2003

dine on me

Inventive forgeries lay

deterred, yet forgotten

i'll simply state that i have no

case, all clauses best begotten

nicely nullify the treasonous

trifle with which

you'll line pockets

:gold, blood, and oil

a penny for your thoughts would be hundreds overpaid -

best leave your words on credit

and let a collector come when its all over

4 more years of this administration

will cripple, crisp, and cook

the american way

lest it be forgotten that

he was put in it, in that same damn

way: false pretense and illegal rationale........

Dec

15

2003

simple life

sin: (n.)

1. a sprititual currency that has left millions in debt

Built upon an aching milieu

a system of checks and balances

was crafted to keep power and autonomy

in the hands of those only worthy to succeed (read: rich, white, men)

Isn't that it, enough said?

You could finish the story,

or remember his name

he died for your sins

and removed your bane

existence, precedes virtue

and you're not and exception

to the rule:

you're forgiven, forgotten, and fucked

(read: after we've taken your money)

A pity it had to end this way

a storybook tale with heros and villains misled, the real tragedy lay in the mis.interpretation of the

parsimonious reality of ineptitude

put in the hands of the creator:

it wasn't really meant to be, more appropriate as analogy

(read: a way to justify order and rank)

Cruel intentions left to bare,

and sinister fortunes invested in archaic systems:

sin

(read: a spiritual currency that has left millions in debt)

Dec

08

2003

tasted

Harken a new listening

and break beneath the bore

i've prepared a glistening,

and you'll prepare a sword

i denied your contrition and

bellied your word

but you crossed me once more than twice

and i don't forgive more than thrice

: you're time has come

i say goodbye

you'll eat your words

and then you'll die

inside a swift, regrettingly, intense and antagonistically
bereft coffin of antebellum love

thankfull for the forces

of vicious

wicked prose

i'll deny the gardens

and you'll deny the love

tied together now,

by duty and our pain

we'll satisfy the courses

and live together in vain

i'll pretend your beautiful

and together we will sin

impartial to ever-after

by and far a win to win

(if you consider that you can't cut your costs in
preferential duty, but charm those wicked ones you
want)

have a taste

you won't regret

it'll only cost you

many

many

many

years later when i die

and you know.

you know.

you'll know.

i knew.

Dec

08

2003

worth

my will to deter

those violent, indigo

forces of helpless oblivion

is easing back as

i turn to let go

my tunnel vision has lifted

and it's more clear to me

that it's empty

and lesser, and fuller

sadness

comes and goes

and i question what it's meant to be

superficiality, arts, community and joy

flavored with the nicest zest

and salted with a splash

of nothingness and empty

"it doesn't really matter"'s

my will to deter

those forces of

helpless

is starting to fade, and I

crash beneath the waves

trying to stay afloat

but quietly wondering if

it's worth it

Aug

22

2003

BetterMEnt

Vicious tidals

sweep upon a deathly rift

between shore and relationship

- the siding creates an enormous impact, which is at the effect of

oblivion's wake

Weak, fragile, small, inept,

tired, frightened, small

and going for the kill

-without a means of

fortitude and no cords

of better...

Aug

22

2003

exitus

I'll defy, deny, and

take it off

So big, so grand

so unforgivingly afraid

that i cannot utter

an antithetical remark

about what if or how come

a parody to the live full song

to share with fierce shrill

dietylike proxies

bereft with guilt,

duty, and honor

of a patriarchal

denoument

-ridden till the end

of the line,

i'll be waiting

and biding my time

for the quickest, most pain free

e.xit

Jul

16

2003

writ of pattern

apparently vicious

rumors float in my head

and I kid myself that art is not dead

inside me I cannot play

and outside me it starts to weigh

heavily on my soul and mind

i cannot fight

and i cannot mend,

the broken self

that has started to bend

toward the light

i reach right now

if only for a crayon-gift-like

taste of ever and after

mystery uncurls itself

inside an intermittent self-ish

superiority precedes the need to be

expressed and extraordinary

richness presents itself outside

the bounds of perfection lost in writ

and pattern

Jul

16

2003

epit.ome

Violence sat waiting for a trip of patience and of honor

silently pouncing and licking

its paws - unavailable to the crowds

of earthly lesions

mastering minds and avoiding the inevitably

saddening loss of life

that without choice (sort-of)

will find us - tears do no good

and violence is blind

to the lives of great

better, and worse

ignorant of realms of

trans.formation

Jul

16

2003

matters

Audiences will be captivated

by the rigor with which

my prose will subjugate

and alienate entirety(s)

of classes

Breathe new breath inside

and out

(it's been chilly for a while

in here I'm alone and broken

at the core)

You've defied the gravity

of ambivalence far too

long - trials await

your selfish indignation

(i stand unprepared)

Jul

16

2003

De.efend

Chance negates the superlative

and grows immense tragedy

in the loss of dreams

like poison in the air

like a cloud hovering

above what's there

- slow, melodic

rhythms

turn turbulent times

into sadistic dances

of death

(i can't defend its honor

any longer)

Jul

16

2003

emergent.cy translation

they'd march us off cliffs

because we'd rather sacrifice to keep our peace [read
sanity], while our

anti-unification becomes

our line of demarcation

is our angst, ambivalence

cut with a slice of pain

[read weeping children denied the right to
basic amenities that they protect in limitless vaults]

keep us down and keep us dumb

we're their working stiffs

become a rage, become the night

you'll never know, or prepare to fight

'cause the battle will have been won

you fucking foolish people

May

22

2003

FU2

i look around

at what i've done

I see from here

and away from there

upon a hill

and in a star

i wish to lay

my head down hard

*Crash against a new found rock

and beat my soul upon your face

-wrap it up in pretty lace

liar

liar

you said it wasn't true

liar

liar

you said it wasn't you

nevermind i'll find a way

nevermind i'll get away

Dancing over water

and flying through the air

-it's all about dimension

and forgetting x,y,z (they aren't really there)

-it's all about disaster, cause that's my middle name

well, I'm about ready for a c.r.a.s.h.

liar

liar

you said you never would

liar

liar

i'm fucked pissed off that you could

it's okay, nevermind

nevermind i'll make it somehow someday

it's okay, nevermind

nevermind i'll fuck you up, you'll pay

Apr

13

2003

back

i've been unfit

i've been untrue

i've lied,

i've cried

and i was dead to you

Well, my art, we meet again

time to start and time to grow

new blooms and angles will start to show

-in a while,

you'll see it's true

I'm coming back,

I'm not through with you.

Feb

04

2003

partner of crime

marked badges of honor lay at the feet

of the victims who never saw their future (or lack there of)

- coming....

Without a trace you left me

sitting here in limbo

with my broken back and weakened knees

I started thinking of possibilities

and the lack of meaning that word holds

- something powerfully able to cripple even me, and critically threaten the hegemony of my inner core and being

Without a trace you left me

and no one is able to hear the sound of

my violent screams begging for just

oh so little of help

and you cannot deny how much I've done, from where I've come, and why

- my ambition could always carry some weight but the lack of creating cervical lines to the masses was the most unfortunate of blunders....

Without a trace you left me

and as ice on pain grates hate on anti-feelings, you crush my hopes, dreams, and tinges of delight

with 5 magically strung together words:

i-will-not-support-you

- I'll remain neutral you said, neutrality is exactly what Ellie spoke about, this much you didn't know, but somehow I expect you to

::being my partner and all

you used to be hope

Jan

18

2003

"TornapartDreamer"

I'm the legend,

the .tornapartdreamer. fairy tale,

the life never meant to happ.en.

You started slowly,

trying to personify hate, and left with my hand

Took your time and dangled me,

left me at awe with your wand

This magic spell you used was

better than before

Yet I could never have imagined what

you'd have in store

Looking toward the future you created in your palm

I didn't fit within your plans and my dreams weren't on your course

I stand 2 inches above the ground and you're standing tall and proud

I've become the legend,

the .tornapartdreamer. fairy tale,

the life never meant to happen

-You've successfully personified hate, vicious, and crude

-left me in this shadowy alley called wrong, crimson, and lewd.

.Clip my wings and call me dumb, and this will all end.