2010

Nov

04

2010

mint jelly

i never put the title first
but this time it seemed appropriate

the way banks appropriate funds
the way you allocate your credit

due this
do it that way
stay close inside the line

we call it mint jelly
they call you on the lie

pair me with the lamb you've made me
taste so sweet inside i cry
here there is a slaughter,
hear their cries, they're torn

paired you sheep,
you coward; against your better
judgment you assessed it incorrectly
only saw it from your view

and now as they drive alongside
passing you, you're fully in the rear view

we call it mint jelly
they call you on the lie

paired, perfect for the lamb
you made
me

fall against the wall you built
pushed against the riot's mettle
this score that was long once settled

is resurrected
is titled first
check the way you allocate
your credit

mint jelly.it.hurts.

Sep

07

2010

relational agreements

wrapped in your un.div.ided
inattention, nest.ed in your code
i'm the hierarchy;
i am your flow -
rendered i'm suppos-ed
stable,
nest.ed in your code
apply me with your standards
replicate my core,
i'll shed this skin
you'll fit me in
and together we'll move ...

avoiding the latest trend

i said i was wrapped in your divided
attention,
and i really didn't mean it
i didn't think it through

i skipped the line
and struck out of bounds
self-impos.ed buffering
to preclude my suffering
from touching the core of our
relational agreements

Aug

22

2010

man your station

defend and dig in....
take your position
consume this course
you never really were fond of remorse
or apologies for that matter

we'd bumped up against this issue
more than dozens of times
yet each time we newly bruised our.selves
and found a way to be newly emboldened

we'd barge in on the other's most precious
of sins, and call it out into the open
to say it was painful would understate
the trauma of what was not an ER

error reduction is another opportunity
for development, a plan to ease
into another mode of more peace.able
dialogue and entertainment

we'd manage
each other
we'd maim ourselves
we'd manage
to bother
and frame our spells
as declarations of independence

our autonomy asserted rightfully
against the others' will

you look after
we look in
together we have
committed and eaten this sin

i come after
you before
together we will try and mend
this broken boat off shore

we dig in
and take our position of rightness
you collecting evidence
i the harbor-er of toxic ready to let go

together we'll move forward
together we will know

feel this broken rhythm, feel this uncomfortable beat
it trips you up and s' hard to read, hold em', fold em', start and stumble, i'm gunning baby for you to be the crumb.le topping on my apple pie, a la mode you're always giving

Jul

28

2010

separation anxiety

oh this kiss
the brush with
sacred saying

it's inside this world
i've long been playing

and i thought i i turned
my back on you
we settled there
and worked it through

together i
empower you
empower me
together we
are eternity

bonded broken
built
we trust
no one will
separate us

Jul

25

2010

meet me

oh my silent friend
i'm glad i came to greet you,
yet as we meet, i know
it's not the same

as we once were
before we weren't

measured by the stick of how far we'd dug in
arrested by our development of the scale

of our disasters
we'd engage
we'd dive in
together, it was sink or swim
you the vest and i the key
to breathe we'd
float, enlivened by the gasp, the need
to breathe and reconnect

it wasn't trivial
the way we settled
put to rest the best
of the concerns that did surround us

it wasn't easy to see you
bloom, fade without me
i'm more measured now

this quiet passenger
it settles here and
there i watch it hover

it was good to greet you
at this crossing
and while i know it's not the same,
i'm glad you came
to reconnect
it's puts it all in a clear perspect.ive
for me to ponder

Jun

25

2010

subtle place

oh this bridge (the space) between
the sacred and profane
think you'll tame or train
the move you'll make
think about it, let it in, start to speak
sink the sin

Jun

09

2010

plot thickens, skin

k.nead me, i'm your dough
stow me, shut me out
store me, second class

now you have put into existence
that my love is not enough for your subsistence

glass against my skin
i know that i hold double standard
and that i may think with second head

my heart says know
stick feels heavy;
but i see this levy
it's gonna break

we're gonna sail
k.nead me, i'm your dough
stow me, shut me out
store me, second class

this time i'll say my peace
and i promise not to shut it down
i'll rebound and hover melodic, methodically
i'll plot the next chapter

Jun

05

2010

wake

oh my friend
how we lost touch
i meant to connect
with you on a more regular basis
but, let's face it,
you're only there for me
make yourself available when
i've got something going on
hitting a wall or falling down
it's about the only town you
start to come around

i've got a feeling
that you think of me
as your venting, bored
store core  and gone ashore
perfect pagan poetry

manipulated
undulated
crowded i submerge beneath
your wake

May

09

2010

fall from grace

revenge is sweet
sour on your lips
i part you right
where it counts
i'm down for it love
i'm down on you
and i don't know
how i fit in

i'm feeling like this is
a conditional
release, a con.ditional
love

and i cannot free
myself from a fear that i'll break,
that i'll be, someone not to
measure up to your harrowing account
recount recast recall
your vote
to let me in

you'll cleanse yourself of
what feels tough
what doesn't feel good

and i'm wondering
if i'll make it past your
parole
this probational period of
my fall from grace

May

09

2010

isle of alike

the wicked witch had a sister
and the two lived together well

i try to hate you
feel as if you're other
but i cannot smother
cover, or deny how much
we're alike,
and i hate that
his love for you is
equal to that of his for me
and if i break the spell between you two,
i risk undoing mine too

i don't like feeling
like this is a game,
make your move
i'll sink your ship
break a bottle
feel my stick
push me baby
give me freedom
give me cause
i'll cut you down,
without pause

you'll see
we'll see
just how this was meant to be

i'll give to you this anchor
round' my neck
it'll be your ship that is next wrecked

May

02

2010

musings on 80

these are my thoughts as i traveled down this road

y = i'm always left, to modify, adjust this tense
and coarse correct i suspect we become numb
undone we play pray and prey upon your conviction

around your corners i
stare, no glare
the imperfections
reflections of your failling

you shove me
free i throttle, idle i sit
too equip, to engage the rage you stow

i can devestate
with the flick of a pen
the stroke of a key
when i set my scope
i pretend to poke,
but laser i can cut you

i've missed you and our
hairy tale

Apr

25

2010

player

there's an oncoming madness
it's oh-so-predictable
and we can't quite cause this s.topping
the way we wish we could should

and as we drive through this winding
causeway, swerving between the solid lines
you take a drag
and flicked i fly out the window
your butt, burning i'm slowly
left to choke on the remaining oxygen
i can get; i'm not privy to the access
of your semi-precious lips

white like smoke we choke on
these thoughts are pressing
hard, full court we sort
ourselves across and through this mess
and trust we'll each try,
to do to do our best

driving we'll look in the rear-view mirror,
your reflection unnerving as you know
you would almost throw
it all away to stay in your comfort,
cocoon of pretty apathy,
sign me up baby,
i'll play my part,
flick me
stick me
rip me off,
pawn, i'll please the player

Apr

25

2010

pick

oh baby this maybe
i'm in, maybe i'm not
it's gotta
it's gotta stop

you're picking petals
off of my skin

you're picking at scabs
buried deep within

Apr

24

2010

faster

pretty, petty
impetuous  full force you navigate this course
with misdirection infection we seek and seep
beneath this flesh you know we mesh
but hate the occurring of this bandage
i look over the gauze without pause
and lay it to rest
cause i know this is the best
and i'll buy it and in
this sin as we meld it skin to skin

you're a riot
i'm disaster
together we'll get there
faster

Apr

24

2010

game changer

you're getting positional again
and i'm noticing that i'm digging in
gonna stay the course and will not
force
reset beget my feelings i'm feeling reeling
you see but don't and i fear you'll sink this boat

float ambivalence in this sea
you'll request that i be
something that i'm sometimes not
i'll feign interest inside you'll rot

can't we just reconcile these difference.says
put aside our fears
and forge the alliance to
conquer the world
i know i scare you
i do myself too
but i know that with you
i'll stay steady toward the
execution of my
game-changing plan
to take over the planet

Apr

22

2010

invention

trip rip sip
quip, i seek
you speak you
into existence,
i revel repeal and seal
this deal, like
a clause without
departure,
sort and sport
this empty demeanor
not as it appears
(but you know that)
we lie
in bed instead
we partake in this simple pleasure,
escape from reality
we conjure(d) ungracefully
and we attempt to recover
uncover just really what happened and
how to prevent it again
when, we'll predict
why you ask and i do too
if both of us, we know we knew
oh the truth it's semi-twisted
behind this knot rot spot
we find the grace to place this space
a grass to last this green space of growth
a fertile land to suppose, we'll take
like the seed we used to be
blossoming oh so often; you
with far more
consist.ency translated into currency
material me with a break stake
wake in your tide i drift back into
me sea be
oh i want this
oh i want this
deserve it? you? me?
declare you'll stare and will you care
enough for us to see it through the
barren short term cleanup necessary
to negate this
state in which we find ourselves,
my commitment invention

Apr

17

2010

love & war

in the spirit of purging, i found this in a filing cabinet
written long ago, its truth buried deep
i weep and wonder what i stowed
from back in 2007

i've walked through darkness
etched against my soul
i carry, stoically, swollen, and silent
sometimes crossed, my
warrior emerges, caterpillar
no more i spread
you across the globe
vicious, villain, vulgar
i become, succumb, and
reduce both of us to
splintered seeds of anger:
riot we converge
into a symbiotic, static
stasis; we watch
as (d)evolution encourages us
to make amends
(we swallow, a lot)
channel our force (fullness)
into planetary alignments
captured by self-expression
radiance reaches, teaches outer limits
enjoy we bask in
our forgotten nature this
the story of love & war
boys, peace, piety, and
puberty

 

Apr

10

2010

By Wednesday

people are asking me baby
and i notice that i'm lying trying
to give you time that is mine
it's been my role to protect you
make you look better than you sometimes are
and i'm thinking that this splenda tastes sweet
but it's leaving this taste in my space
and there's a voice in my head
screaming to let go,

that i shouldn't have to wait a week
for you to right your wrongs

his broken heart is where is ought,
it belongs

you shared our bed while we were wed
and death you will be departed
.now.finish.what.you.took.you.started

parted better be your ways
(more than one)

.we'll.say.completion.
ever.after.

drink
wink
start, seduce

you'll get wrapped again
in her noose

have to think
and decide if i should
sit this one out until you decide
to get a grip on the rip she puts in your space
erase this fake, as it is (and really isn't)

and i can't imagine
that you think it's fair to bear
and wait a week
for you to clean up shop

Apr

07

2010

embrace it

sleepless i debate the merits
of what a return would could and should
be, how it'd go and who would know
the course(s) we both traveled
two sides to story, back and forth
this passage, you led astray
will pave the way for
apology for an ever-after;
what's left undistinguished is
a sense of remorse
for the course was took
without a look
for the trust, that would
be diminished,
and in this political web, there
are calculations to be made assessed
addressed and turns to be taken

and i question baby
if you have the stomach
to see this one through
if you knew it wouldn't
always been fun and bubbly plastered,
i've developed some habits
i've developed some ticks

we'll see if you can embrace this
little monster
you created

Apr

06

2010

reconvene

you call to lean on me in times discomfort
while also making it perfectly clear
it's not a reciprocal endeavor,
if only i could measure up
use my pretty face and so-called-intelligence
to meet your measure
then you'd choose and i'd no longer
lose the man-who-says
he loves me
he loves me not
today it's been this way
for almost a year
i've tried to steer us back
on course from this track
we railed
and silence is in our field
i can't pretend that i see
how we can amicably reconvene
this trial

Apr

04

2010

jury erase me

imagine a rejoinder of sorts
day one you defied the order
date three you dared to say i love you
i struggled with the best way to respond
and with measure and care
i believed in the pool we created
we swam magnificently against the current
our stroke perfectly in unison
toward a union, wholly perfected
for our taking-on of the planet

this reciprocity and discovery
of the latest jurisdictional differences
has me question the motives
of even your first and most pure,
a usual caveat in contracts (which i neglected) is to protect,
against inure.ment and all the things
unequal and let's face it,
your scale may tip in your favor currently,
if we're assessing all things material wealth,
but baby it wasn't that way when to started,
and i carted around your guilt,
ridding, skinning, and freeing you along the way
thinking that of course you'd stay

and i suppose this is just one more trial
to sit through and manage;
just hoping you choose swiftly,
no longer undecided

Apr

04

2010

performance art

oh, my friend
these writings do betray me
i perform calculus upon these words,
factor, equate, and
reduce i simplify over
the true meaning of x
to satisfy why, i'd rather not reveal my.self
just yet

i'm clearer (getting there)
about the ways in which this subtle (and not so much)
manipulation bears costs on this economy
of ours (no longer)

and while i recognize my dollar's weak
i beg you to let me speak
and try to set out, prove
that i'm the greatest love, you've
ever chosen, let go

bow.arrow.heart.
heal.
pin.prick.precious.
stuck.on.this.wheel.
of wanting and can't let go,

i just can't stop thinking about you
and my calculus is failing now,
i can't factor or force you to confront your fears
or reduce you to your purer self (you're polluted you know it's true)[inthismomentanyway]

it's a truly simple equation,
boy meets boy,
boy breaks his heart
and from the pain, he must start,
over or through, and both must choose,
hoping neither has to lose:
i simplify over
the true meaning of x
to satisfy why, i'd rather not put myself in a position of
saying i love you
only to be let go again

Mar

31

2010

came clean

you looked down on me
as i came clean
yet you knew your
own untruths were
.consuming.our.space
(what was left anyway)
no fumes left from which
we could run
and you pointed the finger
saying i was the one
it's all my fault
i'll take it baby
whatever let's you sleep at night
in our bed, with your
shiny life;
i came clean and you looked down upon me
pedestals are made for breach
lessons i could never teach
you'll see one day, wish with you
that what you thought it wasn't true
.i.always.had.your.back.

Mar

30

2010

fr.agile

as a child i'd spend
countless hours between games of capture the flag and hide-n-go-seek
drawing images of humming birds
my personal manifestation of the phoenix i'd so want to become
agile, graceful, and full of myth

i'd land and call you home one day
stuck around for longer than i'd say (to myself and friends at the time)
captivated by you and your oh-so-sweet taste and scent

i was continually struck by your capacity to
grow, recover, and unearth
another piece i'd never met before

it's time for me to close this chapter
i loved you, my precious captor

but somewhere we turned and
its sickly.sweet starting to burn,
and i cannot keep pretending;
i want to stick around not flee,
but there's something inside me
that says to see

there's something else out there for me
to be see and explore,
goodbye my friend,
this is the end,
with grace and myth,
i'm no longer fr.agile

Mar

30

2010

snake eyes

they were a piercing pair
a subtle combination of magnetic energy
to feed and fuel your desire to fit in
and find peace with the piece
of yourself that can never be completed

ease.d into you and through
the place of honor
and deferential
your water broke, inside they'd poke
and called home
you were provincial

when what i want for you
no longer stood in solid
i was wrong for you and couldn't stall it

a perfect piercing pair
for you, snake eyes
you cut your ties

trust and ever afters

Mar

28

2010

disaffected

i used to conjure words and kindness
inconsistent with the pit.in.my.stomach
that thought that i couldn't quite swallow
the hollow and shallow things you'd say and be
yet, without fail, you'd exquisitely recover and redeem
exceed the depth you'd dug
[ i still selectively rewrite history to cast you in a better light ]

she came around seduced you well
and into her despairing hell you sunk,
neglected your ego bathed in glory
reminiscing on an ancient story

you found yourself a path to flee
you found yourself a path away
from me

i cannot think but to blame my.self
but i also know there's room to grow
on your end, and in this time you'll learn and see
whatever is meant to be

and i now know it's without me
i can't look back
you took my rook and left my king mated
sedated i step back from this game and
see it for what it is and isn't

oh rescinded
oh undid
this spectrum of care and compassion folded
you stood so tall and now your back is against
a wall, and you don't even know it

you'll see when you're bleeding, dark, and
needing, just who
you friends are

they eat their men
ten by ten, each month it is another
smother and crucify
what makes you think that you'll defy
the odds of their dismember'ing
disaster; the perfect pair
they wear you well, an
accessory, her store, she stole your core
prevention is what they're after
to lose ones' self in all that is and isn't is worth the violent recovery of truths said or unlead in times of war and love, affection
contention
you know i call em' ahead of time
and this is one i'll watch and swallow
seeing you become so hollow
wait too late it's all undone
and now its disaffection

Mar

17

2010

deference

while i defer to your greater wisdom
(and yes i really mean that)
i trust that you'll honor the path
that honors it all
and choose to see it through
no matter how much it means to you
to stay safe and well-protected

we used to joke about the way
that people would stay, stuck and suspended
see what there is to do
but undistinguished,
liking it, fun, would end it
the taking of said clear path

i'm noticing the care with which
i'm choosing words
trying not to belabor or bore
yet subtly plead my case
to beat the race, of feeling like our time is running
out this door i see and know i need
to step through, rather with you
but will do no matter
for what's next

trusting that you'll honor the path you
see in your greater wisdom

Mar

15

2010

without promise

i'm rescinding this invitation
to consume my life
i'm erasing the references
that twist through my space

and as much as it pains me
i know that i have to stay away
let you walk your path

i'll be waiting
i'll be waiting

healing from this breaking
my heart apart a piece
it bleeds and knows it needs
to reconnect

so i'll rescind this invitation to the party eight years ago
and i'll erase the references that twist through our space
compassionate embrace i'll hold, bold
without promise

Mar

14

2010

too much depends

oh your smile
oh so sweet
and now i see the way you've
steeped
stepped in their haunted
oh yes, their imprints there

i see it in photographs
the crooked smiles
hiding the guilt and unsaids,
the truths to reveal you conceal
yes, you're packing heat

i was just the first casualty to get burned
and when i learned that you chose
them.over.me
them.over.me

i don't think i can see
how you could have
could have
could have
but you've dug in
and in sin you'll settle
i'll no longer meddle
but.god.i.love.you.and.it.hurts.

to predict the oncoming crash
the way you'll realize you're paralyzed
trapped with no one to help
i.want.to.help.but.you.have.to.ask

i can't force feed you
direction, it's gotta be a choice you make
but i'm clearer now, that the
fertile growing ground to re-mend our bones
is not where you are in that circle of friends,
too much depends
and i've already lost too much

Mar

14

2010

stick it out

i stow away my sadness
it's what i'm supposed to do
never saw it coming
thought you'd always stick it through
like i did with you
like i did with you
the soft refrain
that's beating in my head
all those times i'd lay with you
and hold you while your family swam
its circles round us like they were sharks
i know you felt it
our electricity it sent sparks
and we were the envy of the crowd
power we generated
heat, more than our fair share
so forgive me if i'm bitter
that i didn't get the chance
to bleed a little on the mat
and bring your party down
i know it wasn't pleasant
and i'm really not at all proud
but damn, we vowed
to stick together
like i did with you
like i did with you
like i died with you

Mar

10

2010

crust

i'd be lying if i said i
was completely unscathed
being bathed in your anger
in your anti-union
we'd sit in splendor and joy and love
and now i'll never measure up,
it's time to believe in or get out
of my way you'll never stay
won't let my.self down again
suspend i will not remain

the past portends we'll not make amends,
redressed our past
who i am empowers you
who you are empowers me
together we are empowerment

i sit in silence
complet.ion
seeing from this crust that's formed
crisp
we break
in we take...

Mar

10

2010

goodbye blossom

i dulled my shine
when up next to you
in others eyes i couldn't see
how else to justify the disparity

but i held on for too long
and roped inside i lied;
started to believe the stories i told
i lost it, lost my bold

the truth is much more simple though
from different soils we did grow
and in this most recent round,
you found more fertile ground

blossomed you are
blossomed you be

and you choose not to grow next to me

Mar

08

2010

busted cover

i'm sorry to bust your cover
it's just that i'm no longer smothered, buy my righteous core
you always listened to me like i was the store
of truth and goodness, maybe
but baby i can make mistakes
and yes our hearts, yours it aches

but know that my intentions oft
directed toward the good
it's just that my demons are a hood
and sometimes blaze in unanchored glory
i give in to my biggest stor.ies.

lies you told, we told
unfold
now we start toward a path of ....

Mar

07

2010

choos-e

lock it up and let's do battle
i'm coming at you with all i've got
and you're pushing back like you forgot
jokes on me and its a plenty
jokes on me and there are many

reasons to avoid this dance
i move methodic, against the beat
you sporadic with the crowd

reasons to take the chance
i make magic with full embrace
you leap outside your own rat-race

i keep on thinking
and butt.up.against
the li(n)es of logic,
your dear, dear friends
and know they'll never
make amends

sink or swim my mighty dear
till death departed,
it's oh so near:

choose.
chocolate.
vanilla.
choose.

Mar

06

2010

adapt & tune

i built you, maybe
from the ground up
zip nick tuck fuck,
i took it now baggage stuck
with and am did i become

were so perfect
oh so clear
and then the day it came so quick
your success it did the trick

cracks were plenty (you broke)
cracks were clear (me next)
and this direction i couldn't steer

red for reality, blue for fun
you took the one that came undone,
with all that came before;
you broke our core

and then you sat in blame
and anger, sorcerer you,
you became a stranger

i soon got lost in your mist
couldn't see my way or home

lined in shells they were so hollow
you in fullest glory friends they did follow

and now you sit upon your thrown
i disown and give you credit
you did it proved it can go on

though i may mourn
and move more slowly
my pace will set a tone
you will never know nor own

love, & its legend
its lore its luster

i see it taste it reflect in its wisdom

.its.ability.to.adapt.and.tune.
into.you.and.all.i.release.

Mar

04

2010

feed my flame

i collect these thoughts
they've come asunder;
mark my words and catch my drift,
feel these winds, they.will.shift
in my direction

check, this balance (i wanna bounce)
and i'm starting to run,
gunning baby, i'll be coming for you,
this push and pull we'll
work it through, too

i'm bored with this cord
you've placed around my neck;
you knew the debt that i'd amass,
baby i was counting on you,
counting on the checks you
knew wouldn't cash

exceptions to our rules we make and it's more
than time that you take,
I'm bored with this cord you've placed around my neck

space me place me, the comma in your way:
a.positional clause to give you pause or take up space;
exceptions to our rules we make

space me place me, the comma in your way,
you said you'd always stay; now i need a bit more space
so use a colon in this case

strike me i'm the match you've set on fire, fan
my flames and watch me burn,
you're up next to take your turn

Feb

26

2010

marvel

i see you baby
it's loud and clear
it isn't me you choose, to hear
to heed your words and to feel, your breath
against my skin we commit this sin
sink it baby, oh so deep penetrated
i'll try and tame you, your soul to keep

couldn't let it end this way
i tried, i begged for you to stay
and now you've gone and left,
there are none,
no more tears to be wept

and with this setting sun
it comes
a newer, bolder moon across the sky
i look to her and start to cry
i see the path in this dark.ened way
and know this wisdom is here to stay:
manage your health and
you'll get your world
leave it out for all to see
marvel in your vulner.ability

Feb

17

2010

slow burn

slowly i come undone to you
through i make these mends
tried and true
i've done to you
and yet you say to
hold your breath

baby, i'll choke and stay
if i knew i had another day
to sit and watch myself smolder
cause i'm burning up and you couldn't see
the way my embers crawled along our edges;
yeah you burnt your hand
and that finger you've been pointn'
was left with a smudge
the grudge, you felt,
my heat

press against your skin
this sin
won't be happily ever
fasted i famine, feast i fake, your heart i take;
this happiness will not leave you
betrayal is beautiful, in its own precious way
and i won't stay indefinitely, after

Feb

10

2010

unravel

i used to dream we were inseparable
that the threshold of our nature was so closely intertwined we'd never part
that our frays were just decorative stitching, created to honor your eye
and its desire for fashion

dispersed, i become, unstitched and unraveled
we marvel at our fabrics and all we co-created
we lovingly tease apart the remaining pieces
and as we carefully collect our belongings
we jokingly laugh that we neglected the
label that warned of its proper handling

honor in its creation
and with its end

Feb

08

2010

Parody of Attraction

i thought i'd feel
more
disappointed or disjointed at the thought of losing you
but you've become so numb to the usual
suspects i trace
your call against your wall
i'll place this waste
back in this bin, it wasn't me
who committed this sin

i thought i'd feel
more
attraction and pull like a magnet
but my drive has been erased
came to close to disaster
and i'm left without a recovery plan
to come back from this sudden, yet not so much,
loss of memory

oh these lips will never tell
why i fell so hard for your simple spell
and i thought i'd feel more
but it's not even in me to say goodbye,
so i'll look you straight in the eye and say
i loved you

Feb

08

2010

Resurrection

we'd stay up for hours laughing at the adventures of our youth, resurrecting perfection in the most troubling of times, and the ways in which we managed to avoid the collision of our big, big dreams from hitting the reality of all that they said we couldn't

When one day you stepped outside
from our forest you couldn't see
Alice left you em.T
scorned i felt from your betrayal
i slipped inside my narrow mind
couldn't track this thing called time
and as the rain it beat upon my face
i waited for a lover's embrace
thought perhaps you would return


we sit now retrospectively speaking about accountability, the physics of love, abundance and having it all, but what's missing is a thorough inventory of all that's left incomplete; absentmindedly you digress skipping over my distress

alarming was the nature of our courtship
couldn't quite keep a lid on the gravity of the situation
and as we floated high above the limits of others
we strayed perilously close to losing our balance;
the pressure of this cabin imploded, but we both
had to catch our breath, because, well, damn, what a view

there was a time when we would have both said this wasn't okay, that to let go would mean the loss of, emptiness inside a decade of our lives together; that to see something through to completion held a powerful, mythic, magical capacity, that endurance would teach us

and that's exactly what i learned here
not to steer, take advantage, or otherwise improperly
manage
the love of my life

Feb

08

2010

If the Shoe Fits

I sat with you as you dulled my shine
couldn't see this major crime
division crossed my selves, and
i ran away
couldn't keep the pain at bay

and as i lay upon your chest
i couldn't love you any less

torture tickle in my throat
couldn't feel it
you made me choke

we both knew it would be done
you just had the guts to trigger
pull it baby
rip me off

you're the bandage i'm the bleeding
and these are our hearts
needing

growth and evolution;
ablution;
a solution to the perfect crime

our patterned mis.demeanor
time

Feb

04

2010

reconnected goodbyes

i navigate skillfully through these times
and sands are changing
i question my own motives as readily as i rip
apart the others with whom i engage

can't quite look at you without an aching wonder
the odds against us?  or in our favor?
some thoughts best not belabored

approach the bench
we start to argue
i retract and come in for the kill
surprised my blow besets your glory
proud of myself, i undid your story

stolen i am alone defeated
this shallow self in which i am seated
placement, tests i cannot stay
my mind it rots, with decay

i cannot share these thoughts aloud
many of them i am not proud

if they were to be released
some at cost to others' peace

i write behind the mask and veil
to hide the true nature of my biggest fail

will write a book, expose, one day
and it will honor the selves laid bare in an uncharacteristic way

good night my loved ones
good night my fears
we'll reconnect
in a dozen years

Feb

04

2010

Syllables in Adultry

as i lay more naked
with my words
it's not all birds, and bees you know
and though I may tease,
you will not seize (me)
without some wit and humor

look at it with eyes of scandal,
take a drive and try to handle
feel the pressure, need the heat
do it baby, take a seat

wrapped inside a little box
strapped between these little li(n)es
once let go, you'll feel release
and come to peace
blow your mind, you're mine

Jan

31

2010

Seize Me

oh i've been collecting
sit on this treasure as i start
resurrecting these thoughts i'd long
dismissed me
kissed me
pissed me off and as i try to unravel
these rhymes that tease their way across my mind

i see, i

one, two, three four
not keep.ing track of the score
i've made mistakes and come undone
but see beyond the setting sun

oh this wake of wry and wonder,
makes me move and duck for cover,
set the tone and do it right, to you I'll
give another night

part two of this series
it's coming to a close, and as we
mend this space between the two,
i'm gunning baby, better pull through

part two of this series
it's coming to a close, and as we
bend this space between the two,
i'm gunning baby, better pull it through

i'm gunning baby, better pull it through
no time for maybe, gotta choose
defer you'll do, we know you knew
lose choose or fuse

bring it baby feel the heat,
press up on you and
take a seat,
pull my trigger set me off
tonight i think that i'll get lost

let me wrap it up right now
as i lay more naked with my words
it's not all birds, and bees,
and though i may tease,
you will not seize me
without wit